- Remaining involved with the person vs. separating from the person
- Planning for life after death of the person vs. not wanting to betray the person by considering life without them
- Communicating feelings to the person vs. not wanting to make the person feel guilty for dying
- Balancing support for the person’s increased dependency vs. supporting the person’s continued need for autonomy
- Letting yourself experience the full intensity of feelings of the upcoming loss vs. trying not to become overwhelmed
- Focusing on the living person vs. remembering that the person is dying
- Treating the person the same as always vs. taking into account the illness and treating him or her differently
- Rushing to create memorable experiences in the person’s last days and pushing for as much meaning as possible in the time remaining vs. allowing nature to take its course, reminiscing, and being present
- Identifying any specific losses so they can be grieved by the loved one vs. focusing more positively on the remaining potentials
- Taking care of the person’s needs vs. taking care of yourself